The
Church Of Lord Gruntmost
“Giveth
All That Ye Eat Unto Me” – Spoken by
Our Lord to Saint John the Cr*ptist
Halloween Is It?
All Hallows Eve is today you say?
Such days are a distraction from what we should be focused on: Serving
Gruntmost. This once pagan feast day now excuse for adult parties, wonton
vandalism, and mere begging for candy all takes us away from our purpose in
life, giving our Gifts to Him.
Instead of bobbing for apples and
wearing attire that makes us look like some fantasy creature or some idiot
celebrity we should be gathering around things like a bowl of spicy chili
or freshly cooked beans in hopes that we should soon be giving these blessing
back to whence they were provided. Yes this day should be for pots of
greens and bowls of habanero queso and chips, all consumed with faith,
zeal, and great fervor for Our Lord Gruntmost.
So come ye saints, fire up the
stoves of home to cook fine and tasty foods that we may yet give back to our
Lord. Forsake the Demon candy for the
saintly act of giving.
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