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The Church Of Lord Gruntmost

“Giveth All That Ye Eat Unto Me” – Spoken by Our Lord to Saint John the Cr*ptist

The Holy Father Sayeth Unto Thee:

Healing and the unbeliever.....

Some time ago I was at my secular job and was not feeling well.  I was possessed by a demon causing stomach cramps and some nausea.  Having faith I journeyed with some travail to the Chapel on the floor of my client's office building.

I entered it and saw that one of the Offertories was available and entered it anon.  The others were occupied by other Disciples and Holy Men who were straining mightily for Him and making their gifts. Their sounds of labor were heard plainly and the  Holy Spirit filled the room with its beautiful fragrance.

I gathered my strength and immediately gave a large gift unto Him.  And  immediately I was healed by His Grace and Mercy.  Feeling a great joy at receiving this miracle I called my ex-wife, who was and still is an unrepentant unbeliever and sinner.

I told her that I was healed and that she should learn from this and convert so that she would receive His Blessing Of Regularity.  The Unbelieving Ex-Wife refused salvation of course.  But yet she would claim her thyroid condition made her not give as He instructs.  We the faithful know better of course. If only she would have had faith and gave she would have been healed.  Her blindness to the Truth and lack of obedience was hers alone.

Even now she lives in Sin and Irregularity.  I will continue to pray for her deliverance.  We should all have our faith strengthened by our gifts that heal us and use these miracles to spread his Truth to the wider, sinful world.

Praise Be the Word of Gruntmost.


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